This is my very 1st blog post, hopefully it will turn out ok.

Hello, I decided to finish 2017 by deleting my Twitter account, this morning at 6.30 am, just prior to starting work. Why before work? Well, the weekends are generally quiet and apart from a bit of administrative paper shuffling before the shift starts, there’s not really much to do and I wanted look up some videos on YouTube to keep me occupied between patrols.

I met a lot of great ppl on Twitter over the 10 or so years I was there, some very intelligent, professionally employed hard working ladies & gents and also many down to earth, hard working souls just using the forum to ‘Blow off steam’ or tell those who would listen what they think of their favourite sporting team, politics, their children, job and religious ideals. My decision to leave social media behind was made over several days, possibly a week, it wasn’t an easy decision and I am going to miss many of the friends I made, both long term and some over the passed few months. Some wished me well, I will be keeping in touch via email, some others were less forthcoming.

I like to try my hand at repair/renovation jobs around my house, which lately, coupled with a wet winter and a slight cash flow problem, fell by the way side. Painting, building a security gate and a big clean up of the man cave are now firmly on the horizon. My fitness level has also dropped and my waist line has increased, as has my weight. But I will get there, issues will be addressed and I will build myself a routine to keep busy, watch less TV and return to a better, more positive, less anxious, less stressed frame of mind. I should also mention that there’s a lot of high quality independent writers here, if you don’t already know. I’ll be availing myself of their blogs, musings & stories. Just because they aren’t household names doesn’t mean there’s not hours of planning, investigation, writing, editing, rewriting, cover selections and publishing deadlines to deal with. I for 1 am in awe of their abilities, dedication to their craft and sanity in stressful times. 👏🏻

Alone Time, Introversion.

The lonely traveller stepped down from the cabin of his trusty 4wd, stretched his body and took a deep lung full of the fresh mountain air. He’d been planning this trip back to his favourite place for months, it was the place he came to when he felt the world closing in around him, when people became too much for him to tolerate, when the noises of suburbia were screaming in his mind.

Those of us who are introverts crave alone time, especially if like me, you’re married, have children and a limited amount of time in the day to relax & reset your minds focus after a 12 hour work day. I will often stay up later than I should, just so I can have some quiet time to myself. Time I spend thinking about my life, day dreaming (yes, I day dream), worrying about the state of the world, my country, stressing how things appear to be crashing down around me and that I can’t do anything to alter it, let alone stop others from destroying my plans for the future. Some days life isn’t worth thinking about! I often wonder about my place in the world, how all the things we were taught at school, the morals and ethics our parents instilled in us are now seen as ‘Toxic.’ How complementing a woman on her appearance, even the way we greet people at work, or in private, can be construed as disrespectful, or even sexual harassment. WTF???

I enjoy my alone time, being answerable to only my conscience, being the master of my own destiny. It’s my version of Empowerment, my time to sort through the rubbish daily life throws up, cast aside the negativity of others, most of whom probably wouldn’t give me a moments thought after their first drink, but that’s their issue, I’m only concerned about what’s involved in my life and that of my family.

Lately, I’ve been reading up about personality traits associated with being introverted. Did you know there are 16 different personality types associated with being an introvert? I don’t know about being an extrovert,  what goes in to making them who & what they are, most likely a similar number. I’m an ISTJ, we’re known as, the Fulfiller, Logistician, Inspector.

I-Introverted- Gets energy from time alone, prefer to focus on our own inner world.

S-Sensing- Taking in information, more interested in facts & details.

T-Thinking- How you make decisions, prioritise logic, reason & patterns, make decisions based on logic.

J-Judging- Prefer structure & order, enjoy knowing what to expect, don’t like drastic change.

ISTJ’s are quiet, serious, earn success by thoroughness and dependability. We are practical, matter-of-fact, realistic and responsible. Decide logically what should be done and work towards it steadily, regardless of distractions. Take pleasure in making everything orderly & organised in, their work, their home, their life. We value decisions & loyalty.

I’m at the point where I feel like the lonely traveller. I need a time out, cast aside the screaming voices in my head, breath some clear air and take a long walk in a quiet forest some where.

http://www.16personalities.com

All the best.

 

 

A truly great talent taken way too soon by the savage beasts controlling his drug use

One of my favourite songs when I’m feeling blue.

Letting go

Finally, I’ve extracted myself from the clutches of social media and the associated pitfalls. This afternoon I reached the point of complete frustration when it comes to trying to maintain communications with other users, some that I thought were friends, others not so much friends as Twitter associates who I shared common interests with.

Let’s face it, there’s people in this world, me being 1 of them, who liked to see just how many followers I could attract, just by being myself and agreeing with what others posted, I didn’t always agree with 100% of their opinion, however, in the interests of maintaining the friendship I was willing to lower my standards, we’ve all done it, whether it be on social media, at school or at the office, no one likes to stand out for the wrong reasons. Not going to subject myself to that any more, I have my own beliefs, ethics and standards that I’ve maintained for a long time, social media works its tentacles in to your brain with the end goal of reprogramming users, stripping away the layers of decency & morality, all in the name of destroying society via a tool who’s ONLY intended was brainwashing the masses. I fell for it, as many millions have too.

What now? Well, I’m going to do something I should’ve done many many years ago, I’m going to try to re-invent myself. Declutter my brain from all the negativity that’s been absorbed from years of accepting failure as ‘The Norm’ then create new positive thoughts & habits, improve my mental health as much as I can by following guidelines & practices from respected life coaches, and push myself to improve my overall intellect. One person on Twitter pointed me in the the direction of WordPress, she didn’t say “Go check it out” so much as have the link on her twitter page. After my first post she told me to keep going, use it as a medium to get rid of frustrations, post ideas, thoughts and the like. I left that wonderful person behind on twitter, maybe 1 day she’ll look me up here and see that I’ve gone forward in my life, become the better person I want to be. Thank you, Emersen Lee. I know I drove you mad for the short time we exchanged pleasantries & a few laughs. I know now my actions came off as creepy, that was never my M.O. I didn’t realise heaping praise and respect on you could be construed as a negative thing. I’ve always been of the opinion that to receive respect, you must first show and that’s what I did, I guess I just went too overboard. All I wanted was to talk and be friends, but alas I stuffed that up and now I have to live with that. I felt inferior to the other men you converse with. They’ve had impressive lives, are more intelligent than I could ever hope to be, they’re articulate in how they communicate whether that be via social media, some of their replies, or the words they used would totally escape my mind. A lot of them served their country, something I couldn’t ever do, then gone back to their lives and continued to be successful in what their endeavours were. You’re naturally drawn to men like that, especially cops.

Now it’s time to end this entry and go in search of new horizons to aim for. If you’ve read this far down, thank you, it’s much appreciated.

-Ross